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Port Jervis is getting sleazier…

When Suzanne Haenel accessed an ATM machine in Port Jervis late Saturday night, she allegedly left behind a deposit — of the brown variety. The bizarre story will be appearing in Friday’s Times Herald-Record. Folks, let this be a lesson: never squat down and poop inside a bank, because your offensive actions will likely be recorded on video.

Was Ms. Haenel wasted on drugs at the time? Perhaps. She has a previous conviction for criminal sale of a controlled substance in the 2nd degree — for which she pleaded guilty in Orange County Court, and was convicted in April, 2007. But that didn’t stop her from appealing the verdict. The 42-year old Port Jervis woman was also indicted back in 1998 for setting a trailer on fire in Sullivan County. Not to be outdone, Haenel was involved in a 2008 federal civil rights suit against Orange County Family Court, related to more mandated imprisonment.

During the most recent arrest (pooping in a bank), she was charged with public lewdness and criminal nuisance (misdemeanors); plus 4th degree prostitution (misdemeanor); and 2nd degree forgery (felony). Does anybody have a moist towelette?…

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